Ms Bliss Fit

I don’t care about your opinion

I don’t care about your opinion
This post is not about being nice. I might actually offend someone. But, I am sick and tired of trying not to step on people’s toes when trying to achieve my OWN goal. Also, this might help those of you who are on your journey to deal with other people. Yesterday was very interesting and I wanted to write this before today but just did not have the time. I remember reading over Tosca Reno’s book, The Eat Clean Diet Stripped and she talked about “sabotagers.” She noted that anytime you are following a healthy lifestyle, you will always encounter “sabotagers.” Now these people may or may not intentionally be trying to cause you harm or maybe in their subconscious they are. Who knows, but it never fails. Everyone around you knows that you eat healthy but yet they continue to offer you unhealthy food or make comments that hurt your feelings about the way you live your life. I thought about her warning yesterday while I was at work. So, let me tell you what happened….and by the way, I am not trying to offend anyone but if you are reading this and you think you are an “offender,” then maybe it can make you aware of what you may be saying that has a negative effect on other people.

First off, I was asked if I wanted something to eat from the store and I politely said, “no.” I mean, I always bring my food and that has not changed. Minutes later when the person arrived back, they handed me a bag of fruit snacks. The first thing that came to my mind was, “didn’t I say I did not want anything?” I did not say that but what I did say was, “I really don’t eat these that much, so you don’t have to continue getting them for me.” A look of confusion came across that person’s face and they said, “Well I thought you liked these?” I said, “Yes I do, but I don’t eat them that much and I don’t want you to continue to waste your money buying them for me when I didn’t ask for them.” (This was the second time this week that they purchased them for me). They insisted that I take them, so being the polite person that I am; I did and kindly gave them to someone else later. First of all, I am on a plan. I don’t eat haphazardly and people don’t seem to understand that. A little snack here, and a little snack there, can easily add up to 500 extra calories and a but load of sugar in one day. That was the second time this week that person bought me something I did not ask for and they know I plan my meals. I know they thought they were being nice but listen up people….if someone says they don’t want something…don’t insist that they eat it! You are only causing added stress which is unnecessary….you eat what you want and I will eat what I want. Ok? Why do people want to impose their habits on you all the time? On top of that, they try to make you feel guilty for refusing what they offer to you.

After that incident, someone else approached me and said, “Vivian, I don’t want you to lose any more weight!” Now for God’s sake, why can’t people be happy and make positive comments about my figure? Like I said before, this lifestyle is not about doing what everyone else is doing…I do not have the average mind and I don’t want the average body either! In the south, Black women love the fact that they have big hips, butts, and breasts. But, I think that is VERY UNHEALTHY! I don’t want that and I am sorry if it does not fit into the average person’s standards. This person must have assumed that I would actually care about what she wants for my body! I just smiled because, people will never understand. When I told Rephel about this, he said that I have to understand that people are not used to being around fit people that are in shape…to them it’s skinny but to us it is healthy. I am so glad I am in a relationship with an athlete that understands health and fitness and encourages me to reach my goals. Many people have told me what they don’t want for me which is very funny because when I was overweight, they did not encourage me to get healthy! So why would I listen to you now?

Later in the day, another coworker offered me coupons to a restaurant called Sticky Fingers! This person hardly every talks to me and never gives me anything! Now what in the world possessed them to give me a coupon for hot wings and peach cobbler confuses the heck out of me! I smiled, put it in my bag and plan to give it to someone else. Now all the people I mentioned above might have good intentions but they all are trying to impose their own belief or opinion on me in one way or another. These are the times in life when you have to just grin and bear it. Or, if you want, start giving people a piece of your mind by telling them “no” or nicely saying that you don’t appreciate what they are doing or saying. If they get offended, then that is their problem. Most people think that just because they feel a certain way, you should feel that way too. Remember, they don’t have to get up and put in the work you do to get what you want. The only opinion that matters is YOURS! Like Cam Newton said in an interview one time…everyone has an opinion but that doesn’t mean they are true. It does not have to be true to you! Let opinions be the fuel to your fire to burn it up in the gym and push forward towards your goals. In the end, you will be happy and running on the beach in your bikini and they will be sitting on the sidelines like they always are with everyone else. Get a little attitude about yourself and gather up a little confidence to stick with your plan and let opinions fall off your back like water off a duck!

Asian Food Pyramid

Check this out…Asian Food Pyramid. We could learn something from this. They even included exercise! Wow.

Pay Attention

On the way to work this morning, I was listening to the radio and heard that Whitney Houston has voluntarily put herself back into rehab for crack addiction. Man, I thought Whitney had cleaned her act up. The hosts of the show I was listening to made a comment about the importance of her attending her meetings with fellow addicts that are supposed to keep her on the straight and narrow. They were kidding around a little bit but were a little shocked to learn that she had regressed back to her old habits. One host talked about her cousin that had to attend his weekly AA meetings so he would not go back to his old lifestyle. It is kind of the same concept with any bad habit or addiction that you are trying to get rid of. Once your brain has made the connection of feeling good to a habit that is not so healthy for you, it never forgets. Old habits die hard!

So maybe eating a container of ice cream after you’ve had a stressful day is your habit, or eating too many cookies and candy before you go to bed is your habit, or every time you are down and depressed you go in the kitchen and grab a fattening unhealthy snack. If you have a desire to change, you have to constantly check yourself to make sure you are not falling back into your old habits. Oh my how I wish I could just wave a magic wand and the cravings would disappear and my brain would forget how delectable that chocolate cake is! LoL! Unfortunately, I have to constantly remind myself what the consequences are of over indulging. After a while it becomes automatic to grab a healthy snack instead of an unhealthy one. This may sound extreme, but just like Whitney Houston has to keep herself off the crack and attend her weekly meetings to remind herself that the way she was living was destructive to her health, we have to check in with ourselves to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I say all this to say that it actually takes a CONCIOUS EFFORT to do what you need to do for your body. You have to take the necessary steps or else you will fall back into your old pattern. If that means throwing all the junk food out of your house, then do it. If you have to make sure you eat before you go grocery shopping so you won’t buy up the whole candy aisle…then do it! If you have to carry food with you EVERYDAY…then do it! Remember, this blog is not about doing what everyone else is doing…filling their bodies with junk food every day. It is about living a clean lifestyle that you can do all the time if you choose. Your health is worth it!! It can be done. I know someone personally who has lived this way for years and has kept her health and weight in check. She has inspired me and I see that it can be done.

Remember, anything worth having is worth working for and if you actually work at it on a daily basis, you can learn how to live this way for the rest of your life! Don’t underestimate yourself…you have unlimited power and can live your life anyway that you want to.

Staying Motivated

Sometimes we get caught up in the everyday ho hum workouts and it starts to make us lose our motivation. Doing the same routine day in and day out can be detrimental not only for our mental sanity but for our physical body as well. Our bodies are amazing machines. The body is great at adapting to different situations and stress. When that stress becomes constant, your body knows what to expect and as a result stops growing or changing. This is what we call homeostasis. Homeostasis is the reason why humans have lasted all of these years on planet earth. Our bodies have evolved to adapt to the changes in our environment. A wonderful thing because we do want our body to be able to balance itself, otherwise we would be in a state of constant turmoil. However, when you are trying to lose weight, this is not a good thing. Many people reach what we know as the dreaded “plateau.” Inevitably it will happen to us all and cannot be avoided. Your body is going through a big change and sometimes you might not see results every week because it is still playing catch up. Don’t worry, plateaus don’t last forever and can be minimized with changing workout routines and the food you eat. In my opinion (and many other fitness and sports enthusiasts), you should change your workout routine at least every four weeks. This will help to keep you motivated. One reason I stopped working out before is because I was bored! I had been doing the same workout for months and just burned out. Variety definitely is the spice of life.

 This is what I do to stay motivated to work out.

• Subscribe to health and fitness magazines. A good example is Oxygen or Muscle and Fitness Hers. Reading these magazines keep you motivated because they feature real women in addition to professionals who are committed to a healthy lifestyle. They even have posters that you can cut out and hang in your house for inspiration.

Clean Eating magazine is new to my list of reads and teaches you how to prepare your favorite recipes in a healthy way.

• Go to YouTube: Online videos are a great source of inspiration. I have found plenty of workout videos on YouTube which help me to vary my routine.
• Read a book for God’s sake! There is all this information out there just waiting to be discovered. The other day, I went to my local public library and perused the health/nutrition section. There is a book out there for just about every topic you can think of. They have all the answers to all of your questions.
• Challenge yourself when you are tired. When I am tired, I give myself mini goals to accomplish while I am working out. If I am running on the treadmill, I say, “Ok, just make it one mile…or just make it to a certain time,” and I usually end up going beyond that. When I am lifting I say, “Ok…pull out this last rep.” You have to talk to yourself sometimes when there is no one else to motivate you. 9 times out of 10 you are just mentally drained but not physically so you still need to work out.  
• Track your progress. I keep track of how well I am doing by either weight or the way my clothes are fitting. You can also measure yourself…or just look at yourself in the mirror. You need something visual to keep you going. If that is weight for you fine, if it is your favorite bikini, that works too. When you see how far you’ve come, you don’t want to go back by not working out. (It is impossible to maintain a healthy body and be fit without exercise).
• Take a class or join a sports league. Yes I have my routine that I do in the morning but I also attend Zumba, Yoga, and Step classes. This helps me to stay motivated because I am around other people who enjoy exercising. Dancing is so much fun and it burns a ton of calories.

Mother’s Day

Today is mother’s day and even though I don’t have any children and my mother is no longer here, I feel that I try to live my life in the spirit of her on a daily basis. There are times when I get off track, get discouraged or lose focus, but all in all I think she would be proud. Who knows, if she were still here if I would have the same story that I have now, probably not but as they say, things happen in ways that we don’t always understand.

I can’t say that this is my favorite day of the year but I am fortunate enough to know many mothers who inspire me or are like mothers to me. I am blessed in that way. This day just reminds me to keep going even though sometimes it feels that I will never reach my ultimate goal. This whole lifestyle is not always easy. When the world says, “do this or do that, or oh it’s okay, it won’t hurt you,” It feels like you are going against the grain and you are the only one who truly wants to do what is right. When you get pissed off at work or feel like you are just going through the motions, the last thing you want to do is exercise or even eat chicken and salad for that matter. That is when you have to pick yourself up and say that you are better than any negative feeling you may be experiencing at the time. The outside world should not define who you are or what you want to be. If you just do what everyone else is doing, you will be just like everyone else…just here and settling. You can’t become great living like that. If my mother was here, would she allow me to give in to circumstances? No, she would encourage me to keep pushing forward. If I can’t commit to my goals in this…I can’t accomplish anything. I have really come a long way.

So, if you still have your mother, you need to live your life in a way that would make her proud…and if she is no longer on this earth, live in the spirit of her. Does she not deserve that much? Don’t you deserve that much?

Enough Already!

I am giving in. I can’t take it anymore, I’m tired of hiding my two loves…writing and fitness. Everyday, I go to the gym, go to work and during those 12-15 hours, all of these thoughts are swirling through my head. I see or hear something that starts a spark in my brain and fuels to a raging fire. All the while I am thinking, “gosh, I wish I could share this information with an unlimited number of people.” The other day I was speaking to a coworker and I ended up showing her my “fat” picture. She was shocked to say the least. She encouraged me to share my story…so that is what I am going to do.

In 2007, I reached my highest weight of 224 lbs! It really hit me when I was in the store one day trying on clothes and I could no longer fit into a size 14. At that moment, something switched in my brain and said, “Vivian, what is wrong with you? How did you let yourself get to this place?” Sometimes we lie to ourselves and say that everything is okay when it really isn’t. We know that we have reached the edge, not only reached it but fallen over it, tumbled, scraped our knees, and just as we are about to twist our ankle we can make the decision to stop, get up, or give in. Well, I decided to stop! I made up my mind that day to lose weight and get healthy. I started going to the gym, changed my eating habits, and my lifestyle (which included getting rid of some people that were a part of my life at the time). (Just a little note about these people…they were the ones who told me, “oh you look fine,” you are not fat,” “why do you want to eat healthy.” Tyrese Gibson was on Wendy Williams talking about his new book and he made a great point by saying that if you look at the people around you, that can give you very good insight into what type of person YOU are. If your friends are negative, always telling you to stop working so hard, have no goals, and settle…well then maybe you need to drop those friends. You will be a better person for it.)

My change was very gradual, I still ate fast food but I made healthier options. Instead of a Whopper Meal, I got a plain burger, no bun, and small fries. Eventually I got to the point where I started taking my lunch to work 95% of the time. I dropped to 175, added weight training to my routine, and starting eating even more healthy which meant cutting out a lot of processed foods. (Thanks to the help of Rephel, my wonderful boyfriend. He introduced me to free weight lifting, and clean eating.)

I enjoyed my new body for a while but slowly started putting the weight back on. I stopped working out as much and for  a while did not do anything. When I did get back on a fitness plan, I turned to running. Now running is awesome, it has so many benefits and it is great for your heart and overall health. However, one thing I did which was a fatal mistake was to neglect weight training. Never, ever, ever, think that cardio is the only way to go, no matter what ANYONE says. You have to be well rounded and do it all. I trained for a marathon running two halfs and a few 5ks. I dropped a little weight and was in my 160s but I was flabby. I looked heavy and was not really in shape believe it or not. All of that running, and I was not in the best shape I could have been in. During my 2nd half marathon, I felt a pain in my left knee that never went away. It got so bad over the next few months that I went to the doctor. Overtraining, not doing strength exercises and not eating right had taken its toll on me. My body just finally said it could not take anymore. I went through therapy and began building my self back up and guess how I did that…strength training! Go figure! Anyway, I still cannot run like I used to but it is going to take a while to get back to that point.

Now my focus is on HEALTH, NUTRITION, and GETTING IN THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE. Running will always be a part of that, but I have expanded my viewpoint to include many more things. I am much, much happier now. I don’t feel pressure to always run but do it when I am in the mood and it is fun now. Oh believe me, I can still burn up the road but I don’t let running consume me.

So after all of that rambling, why am I writing this blog. I want to encourage YOU! No matter what your goal is, you can do it! If you want that banging body, six-pack abs, round butt, or sleek arms, you can have it. You have to first believe it in order for it to happen. Do not listen to what other people say…you can do what you want. We always underestimate ourselves. Especially Black Women. We settle, or feel that being “thick” is cool. Being “thick” is unhealthy and will cause you to dig an early grave if you continue to sabatoge your health in order to have thick hips! I am tired of seeing Black Women in the gym just doing the bare mimimum. We have so much more potential and deserve the best including the best health we can offer ourselves. Let’s get up and go get it!

This blog will provide my daily ramblings about fitness, nutrition information, workouts, research, and anything else that can help you to reach your goals. Before you begin on this journey…let me give you a few words of advice that you need to heed before you start.

• Ask yourself if you want a lifestyle change or a temporary diet. If you answered the later, you are sure to fail. In order to be successful, you have to change your lifestyle…we don’t diet, we eat right and make wise choices EVERYDAY.
• You need to develop a thick skin. People are going to criticize you, make negative comments, tell you that you can’t do it, and sabatoge your success if you let them. Don’t let these people get in your way. NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING. You have a choice in what you do every minute of the day. I’ve had people (strangers, co-workers) tell me not to lose anymore weight, say that I can’t get six pack abs, talk about the food I eat, say that I am not enjoying life and much more! All because I choose to be healthy. Be ready, because it WILL happen to you too.
• Share your story. Sharing and talking to other people that have the same goals as your own really help. Join an online community where people post thier stories.
• Calories Count. You need to be aware of what you are putting in your body. As time goes on, you will be able to gage the amount you eat, but if you are new to this, you need to log ALL of the food that you eat. You will be amazed at how this helps you control your food intake. The truth hurts, and when we begin to see it in our face, it helps us face it. Try http://www.caloriecount.about.com .
• Workout HARD. I’m sorry but walking on the treadmill at 2 miles per hour is not going to cut it. You need to sweat! Get off your butt and get in the gym. You can take classes, run, lift weights, do yoga…whatever, but whatever you do, do it HARD. You can’t maintain a healthy weight without exercise.
• Eat clean. You cannot eat burgers fries, chips, drink soda, eat cake and still think you can get the body you want. You have to make smart choices and eat healthier foods. It is okay to have a so called “treat” every now and then but you can’t make that an everyday habit. Anyone who tells you that you can is lying to you. You need to face it now, that is why I said before, if you are not ready to make a lifestyle change, you might as well stop now. This is not for people who don’t know what they want. You have to want it and you have to actually work and make good choices to get it. Hopefully I can help you along the way.
• Accept compliments. Although you have a few nay-sayers, you will get more compliments from people, even complete strangers. Accept them graciously…don’t go on about something you don’t like. If someone says, “oh you have great arms or nice legs,” say “thank you.” Use that to continue on your journey but please stay true to yourself.
• Immerse yourself in it! You cannot be successful if you never study your craft. Fitness and nutrition should be your second spouse or first if you are unattached! Lol! You need to be married to your passion! It becomes a mainstay in your life. Just like your man or woman deserves attention and love, so does your body. You need to feed it with knowledge. Research different workouts and fitness tips so you know what is fact and fiction. You will have a lot of people telling you what you should do and they don’t even workout or eat right, have never studied nutrition or fitness, and somehow they know everything about what you should be doing! The next time someone gives you a fitness tip you can really break it down for them in an intelligent way! Knowledge is power! 

“If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”-Bruce Lee