I don’t care about your opinion
This post is not about being nice. I might actually offend someone. But, I am sick and tired of trying not to step on people’s toes when trying to achieve my OWN goal. Also, this might help those of you who are on your journey to deal with other people. Yesterday was very interesting and I wanted to write this before today but just did not have the time. I remember reading over Tosca Reno’s book, The Eat Clean Diet Stripped and she talked about “sabotagers.” She noted that anytime you are following a healthy lifestyle, you will always encounter “sabotagers.” Now these people may or may not intentionally be trying to cause you harm or maybe in their subconscious they are. Who knows, but it never fails. Everyone around you knows that you eat healthy but yet they continue to offer you unhealthy food or make comments that hurt your feelings about the way you live your life. I thought about her warning yesterday while I was at work. So, let me tell you what happened….and by the way, I am not trying to offend anyone but if you are reading this and you think you are an “offender,” then maybe it can make you aware of what you may be saying that has a negative effect on other people.
First off, I was asked if I wanted something to eat from the store and I politely said, “no.” I mean, I always bring my food and that has not changed. Minutes later when the person arrived back, they handed me a bag of fruit snacks. The first thing that came to my mind was, “didn’t I say I did not want anything?” I did not say that but what I did say was, “I really don’t eat these that much, so you don’t have to continue getting them for me.” A look of confusion came across that person’s face and they said, “Well I thought you liked these?” I said, “Yes I do, but I don’t eat them that much and I don’t want you to continue to waste your money buying them for me when I didn’t ask for them.” (This was the second time this week that they purchased them for me). They insisted that I take them, so being the polite person that I am; I did and kindly gave them to someone else later. First of all, I am on a plan. I don’t eat haphazardly and people don’t seem to understand that. A little snack here, and a little snack there, can easily add up to 500 extra calories and a but load of sugar in one day. That was the second time this week that person bought me something I did not ask for and they know I plan my meals. I know they thought they were being nice but listen up people….if someone says they don’t want something…don’t insist that they eat it! You are only causing added stress which is unnecessary….you eat what you want and I will eat what I want. Ok? Why do people want to impose their habits on you all the time? On top of that, they try to make you feel guilty for refusing what they offer to you.
After that incident, someone else approached me and said, “Vivian, I don’t want you to lose any more weight!” Now for God’s sake, why can’t people be happy and make positive comments about my figure? Like I said before, this lifestyle is not about doing what everyone else is doing…I do not have the average mind and I don’t want the average body either! In the south, Black women love the fact that they have big hips, butts, and breasts. But, I think that is VERY UNHEALTHY! I don’t want that and I am sorry if it does not fit into the average person’s standards. This person must have assumed that I would actually care about what she wants for my body! I just smiled because, people will never understand. When I told Rephel about this, he said that I have to understand that people are not used to being around fit people that are in shape…to them it’s skinny but to us it is healthy. I am so glad I am in a relationship with an athlete that understands health and fitness and encourages me to reach my goals. Many people have told me what they don’t want for me which is very funny because when I was overweight, they did not encourage me to get healthy! So why would I listen to you now?
Later in the day, another coworker offered me coupons to a restaurant called Sticky Fingers! This person hardly every talks to me and never gives me anything! Now what in the world possessed them to give me a coupon for hot wings and peach cobbler confuses the heck out of me! I smiled, put it in my bag and plan to give it to someone else. Now all the people I mentioned above might have good intentions but they all are trying to impose their own belief or opinion on me in one way or another. These are the times in life when you have to just grin and bear it. Or, if you want, start giving people a piece of your mind by telling them “no” or nicely saying that you don’t appreciate what they are doing or saying. If they get offended, then that is their problem. Most people think that just because they feel a certain way, you should feel that way too. Remember, they don’t have to get up and put in the work you do to get what you want. The only opinion that matters is YOURS! Like Cam Newton said in an interview one time…everyone has an opinion but that doesn’t mean they are true. It does not have to be true to you! Let opinions be the fuel to your fire to burn it up in the gym and push forward towards your goals. In the end, you will be happy and running on the beach in your bikini and they will be sitting on the sidelines like they always are with everyone else. Get a little attitude about yourself and gather up a little confidence to stick with your plan and let opinions fall off your back like water off a duck!