Over the past month, I have had so many emotions and feelings about my upcoming competition. Some days I asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” Other days I doubted my ability to even compete. I started talking about the competition with Rephel on New Year’s Eve and we got on the discussion of winning vs. losing. I said that I was just doing this for fun and didn’t care if I won or loss…because I don’t want to be depressed if I don’t place well. Rephel asked me why I felt that way and I got very upset…I mean I was very emotional. I thought about my reaction that night as I laid in bed and realized that I was so upset because I am scared. I am scared that the judges won’t like me…that I can’t get my body in winning shape, that other’s will be better than me. This type of thinking leads to self sabatoging behavior. If I feel like that, then why would I even try my best? I had a breakthrough on that night. I realized that I was in danger of self sabatoge. I have more courage and ability than I give myself credit for. I am not going to doubt myself…so my plan is to give it all I’ve got for the next 12 weeks. I am following the diet to the tee. I am going all out on my cardio sessions. I am lifiting as much as I can and I am going to renew myself spiritually EVERYDAY because I need to in order to finish strong. I am not going to half-ass this thing because I don’t want any regrets. If the judges like me that’s fine and if I don’t place 1st that will be okay too. I can use that to get better for my next show. (Yes I am going to do another one).
So this New Year has started off awesome for me after a little emotional breakdown and a nice vacation in Cozumel and Grand Cayman. Until March 24th my eyes are on the Iron Eagle show. I have already picked out my meal to eat after the show…Chocolate Rum Cake by Tortuga. I discovered this little treat on our cruise while on a tour in Grand Cayman. They are delicious. I also plan to eat BIG serving of Ice Cream from Leopold’s. The best ice cream shop here in Savannah! For dinner I am hitting up the Olive Garden. (I know this is sad that I am planning a meal that is 3 months away but if you ever are in competition prep, you will understand! Lol)
Hope you all have a fabulous 2012 and do something that you never thought you could do…go all out! You will regret what you don’t do more than what you do.